- By Pongsiri Trivittayasil
- 7 min read
- Updated September 2026
When a parent starts to need more help, families often begin researching options on their behalf. That is natural, but decisions about where someone lives and who cares for them belong to that person wherever possible. Care that a parent has chosen, or at least helped to shape, usually works better for everyone. This guide covers how to keep them involved, and what the law says when they cannot decide for themselves.
Start the conversation early
- Start early, before a crisis forces a quick decision.
- Ask what matters to them before presenting options: routines, people, places, food, independence.
- Share information in small pieces and give time to think. One conversation is rarely enough.
- Be honest about the drawbacks as well as the benefits, including distance from family.
- Include the people they trust, such as a sibling, a friend or their GP.
- Write down what they say, so their wishes are on record if their health changes.
Mental capacity: the starting point
In England and Wales, the Mental Capacity Act 2005 sets out the principles. A person is assumed to have capacity unless it is shown that they do not. Capacity is judged decision by decision and at the time the decision is needed, so someone may be able to decide where to live even if they struggle with finances. People must be given practical help to make their own decisions, and they are entitled to make a decision others think is unwise.
Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own laws: the Adults with Incapacity (Scotland) Act 2000 and the Mental Capacity Act (Northern Ireland) 2016. The principles are similar, but the details differ.
When your parent can decide
The decision is theirs. Your role is to help them get clear information, to raise concerns honestly, and to respect the answer. A visit or a short stay can help someone decide with real experience rather than guesswork.
When your parent cannot decide
If a parent lacks capacity for a particular decision, only someone with legal authority can make it for them. In England and Wales that is usually an attorney under a registered Lasting Power of Attorney for health and welfare, or a deputy appointed by the Court of Protection. Any decision must be made in the person’s best interests, taking account of their past and present wishes and feelings, and choosing the option that restricts them least.
A move abroad raises extra questions. UK legal authority is not automatically recognised in Thailand, so take legal advice in both countries before relying on it. The gov.uk guidance on Lasting Power of Attorney explains how it works in England and Wales.
Consent to share their information
Information about someone’s health and circumstances is theirs. Before you send it to a provider, or to anyone helping you, check that your parent agrees, or that you have the authority to share it for them. Share only what is needed at each stage. A first enquiry rarely needs a medical history.
Practical steps
- Involve their GP early: about their health, fitness to travel and future needs.
- Record their wishes in writing while they can express them clearly.
- Agree who in the family is the main contact, and how others will be kept informed.
- Agree when you will look at the decision again if their health changes.
How BAAN handles consent
When a family member contacts us, we ask for their relationship to the person and whether the person knows about the enquiry. Wherever possible we speak to the person directly about their wishes. We ask for consent before sharing any details with a provider, and only share what that introduction needs. More detail is in how it works and our privacy policy.
Disclaimer: This guide is general information, not legal advice. Mental capacity law differs between England and Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, and recognition of UK legal documents in Thailand is not guaranteed. Take advice from a qualified lawyer on your family’s situation.
Frequently asked questions
Can I arrange care in Thailand for a parent without their agreement?
If your parent has the capacity to make the decision, it is theirs to make, even if you disagree. If they lack capacity for that decision, only someone with the legal authority to act for them can decide, and the decision must be in their best interests, taking their wishes into account. Take legal advice before making any arrangement abroad.
Does a UK Lasting Power of Attorney work in Thailand?
Not automatically. A Lasting Power of Attorney is a UK legal document, and Thai banks, hospitals and other organisations are not obliged to accept it. Take legal advice in both the UK and Thailand before relying on it for decisions or transactions there.
What if my parent says no?
If they have capacity, their answer stands. It may help to ask what worries them, whether a short visit or trial stay would help them decide, and whether there are ways to meet their needs closer to home. Sometimes staying is the right decision.
Will BAAN talk to my parent directly?
Wherever possible, yes. We want to hear the person’s own wishes, and we ask for their consent before sharing their details with any provider. If they cannot give consent, we ask who has the legal authority to act for them.